After watching the Pitt Panthers put forth perhaps the most futile effort of the 2010 college football season last evening - essentially defecating upon Rule #1 and then taking it on toilet swim Trainspotting style - it would be natural to assume that the Locks is suffering from a crisis of confidence. Assume at your own peril. All that Thursday night defeat did was get our single losing prognostication of the weekend out of the way early. We're now ready to tackle this Saturday's slate of games with the same manic confidence of Ray Lewis filling a gap on the goal line. The winners are about to come fast and furious so start making plans for your Monday morning payout pickup with your bookie of choice.
Five Star Special:
Stanford @ Notre Dame - Line is Stanford -4.5 - This line has been bouncing around a little bit all week. It started at 3.5, moved up to 5 and now has settled back at 4.5. The Locks says that it doesn't matter. We're comfortable with this line all the way up to 7 points. We absolutely love this game. Stanford looks like a juggernaut on both sides of the ball and you can't look anywhere this week without seeing Mel Kiper anoint Andrew Luck as the best NFL QB prospect in the country. The only reason this line is as small as it is is due to ND’s name. Question: Just how much longer can these guys live on reputation? Answer: As long as delusional ND fans are willing to lose money by backing this mediocre program. ND has beaten an above average team in quite some time. That feeble mark of ineptitude shall continue on Saturday. Look for Stanford to take care of business and continue its climb up the polls. Take Stanford and give 4.5 points. Final score is 38-23. LOCK IT UP.
Four Star Specials:
West Virginia @ LSU - Line is LSU -10 - Look, we're well aware of how difficult LSU is to beat at home on Saturday night. We're also well aware of how many times the Tigers have absolutely killed the Locks' gambling mojo over the past few years. There is no one player that we have pulled for more and - in turn - been disappointed by on a daughter going into porn level than LSU QB Jordon Jefferson. At this point, we think Mr. Jefferson's white neighbor (Harry Bentley for those of you in the know) - who is dead, incidentally, would give the LSU offensive more of a spark.
For an offense that can't move the ball, 10 points is just too big of a line. Don't forget that WVU is no slouch (though they have also killed the Locks at an extraordinary rate in recent seasons). They have a great RB (Noel Devine) and solid QB (Gino Smith). That is enough to control their share of the game clock and keep this game close. Do we think the mighty LSU will be beaten in the swamp on Saturday night? Probably not. Will they blowout the Mountaineers? Absolutely not. Take WVU and the 10 points. Final score is 24-20. LOCK IT UP.
UCLA @ Texas - Line is Texas -15.5 - Before any of you nitwits get yourself worked up into a frenzy about the Bruins blowout of the Houston Cougars last week and their "dynamic" pistol offense, I must warn you to settle down. Sure we picked against UCLA last week and got knocked around like a fat nerd at recess. That said, the Bruins beat up on a Houston team that is notorious for not playing well against teams outside of its pathetic conference. Plus, Houston had to play a majority of the game with its third string freshman QB. Let's get some perspective. UCLA still stinks to high heaven and they won't have the home crowd on a nationally televised game to pick them up this week. Texas will not be confused by the pistol and this should be the weak that the Longhorns' offense finally gets on track. We're expecting that UT is ready to put a fat nerd recess beating on someone. Watch out UCLA, this Saturday you are a fat nerd at recess - wearing an ALF t-shirt. Take Texas, give points (15.5). Final score is 41-17. LOCK IT UP
Three Star Specials:
Alabama @ Arkansas - Line is Bama -7 - There is a ton of chatter this week about the Razorbacks and their chances for knocking off #1. Thus is the 24-hour sports media hype machine. They need something outrageous to talk about and we file the possibility of Arkansas winning this game under the label of Outrageous. Look, the hogs are a good team and Ryan Mallet is continuing to demonstrate why he is one of the best QBs in the country. However, should we really be that impressed with a team that needed a last minute TD to knock off a reeling Georgia team and who has otherwise only beaten Tennessee Tech and Louisiana Monroe? This is Alabama we're talking about. The clear-cut best team in the country even as it plays without some of its best players. Bama gets healthier each week as All-Americans return to its lineup. They will get challenged at some point along the way this year, but this week is way too obvious of a potential "upset" for Alabama to come out flat or disinterested. We just don't see this game being all that close once the clock runs out. The Arkansas crowd may carry the Razorbacks for a quarter or two but far superior talent will win out in this one. Take Bama and give the 7 points. Final score is 48-28. LOCK IT UP.
Oregon State @ Boise State We've waited a few weeks to unleash the Theorem this season but it feels like the time is right. For those uninitiated of you out there, the Theorem posits that Boise State will cover any line, no matter how large. The primary tenet of this theorem is the proposition that Boise State must always prove to its critics that it belongs with the big boys. The only way to do this when you play a sub-par schedule is to throttle your opponents. Whereas top teams from power conferences may be content sitting on a 24 point lead in the 3rd quarter and thus not cover a big spread, Boise State has the accelerator on the floor for four full quarters, week in and week out. We're never scared of a big number when it comes to the Broncos - even if those shifty Rodgers brothers are on the opposing team. Oregon State is one of the best teams that Boise will play this year and that is all the more reason for the Theorem to be at work. An impressive win here erases any speculation about the Va Tech win in week 1 and puts everyone on notice. Plus, they're playing on the Blue Turf. You have no choice but to subscribe to the Theorem. Take BSU and give 18.5 points. Final score is 45-23. LOCK IT UP.
Two Star Specials:
Eastern Michigan @ Ohio State - Line is Ohio State -44.5 - We love Ohio State and have supported them each week this season. We still love them and think that they will demolish Eastern Michigan. That said, unlike the Boise State-Oregon State game, this contest plays as an anti-Theorem battle. Will Ohio State be up by 44.5 points during this game. Yes. Will Eastern Michigan be demoralized? Double Yes. However, it is the final score that matters here, not the score at the half. Ohio State is not a team interested in embarrassing its opponents by running up the score - they never have been. So expect to see the third string Buckeyes getting snaps as early as the third quarter. This opens the door for some garbage time points from Eastern Michigan. 44.5 is a tremendous number of points to cover in football. You need to play pretty much flawlessly and have an opponent not be able to do anything. Even then, a fluke play here or there and you don't cover. We're betting that Ohio State calls off the dogs early enough to allow the Eagles to bust this spread. Take Eastern Michigan and all of those points. Final score is 51-10. LOCK IT UP
California @ Arizona - Line is Arizona -6.5 - We're trying to not overreact too much to last week's Iowa-Arizona game. In fact, with such an impressive performance, Arizona is bound for a letdown this week. However, we were just too impressed with this Arizona team. Playmakers all over the field, on both sides of the ball and special teams. A crowd that hopefully was not a one-game wonder. Even when Iowa clawed all the way back into last week's game and had all the momentum, the crowd and the Cats stayed poised and marched down the field against an elite defense. Very impressive. What is not impressive is California's patented move of demolished cupcakes in the season's opening weeks, teasing its fans into thinking they can play ball and then getting absolutely smoked by decent teams. This problem is especially acute on the road. They'll keep this close for a while as Arizona works to combat the potential letdown. However, once the second half kicks off, Cal will seem as if it is already on the bus back to Berkeley. Take Jocks (Arizona) over the Nerds (Cal) and you can even give limp-wristed Lamar and his cronies 6.5 points. Final score is 40-23. LOCK IT UP
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