The Ws Keep Coming...The Yanks are in Town...Life is Good

The Locks is particularly fired up for baseball this week as our New York Yankees come to the Bay Area for their one set against the Athletic Supporters in Oakland. We're dialed in with tickets for the Wednesday night game thanks to our brother-in-law. However, since we get the shit sandwich pitching match up on Wednesday night (Chad Gaudin vs. Brett Anderson), we're thinking of rolling to the Oakland-Alameda Country Stadium tonight to watch AJ Burnett fire bullets at the A's. We shall see.

But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, we need to stretch out our right arm, extend it over our right shoulder and apply several firm pats onto the upper portion of our back. The Locks is delivering on its money making promise and continues to do so. We had a great weekend capped off by a great Sunday. Based on the recent hot streak, we decided to extend yesterday's UML section to include five games and nailed four of them. In fact, we were finally the beneficiaries of bad bullpen work (thank you San Diego, Baltimore and Milwaukee). Though a White Sox bullpen meltdown kept us from going 5-for-5. Overall on the day, we landed at 9-6. That success pushed our BAT back over $200 and has us feeling invincible.

Since implementing our Unpickable Master Locks, we have managed to go 21-8 (72%) in those profiled games. We'll look to improve on that winning percentage with today's three winners:

Unpickable Master Locks:

Arizona @ Atlanta - A make up game that gives us some day baseball. Can't complain about that. The DBacks, however, will be complaining after getting their first look at Tommy Hanson. This kid is the real deal. We've been waiting for his inevitable rookie misstep and it just hasn't happened. His stuff is that good. The Braves need to bounce back big after a disappointing weekend series vs. the Phillies. We think their up to it. Chipper and the boys hit Max Scherzer pretty well and they won't need to put up too many runs with Hanson throwing flames. Take the Braves (-170) to win 5-2. LOCK IT UP

Minnesota @ Texas - This one feels pretty easy. The Rangers are playing good, inspired baseball and can now taste the playoffs with their lead in the wild card race. The Twins are continuing to play shockingly poor baseball and are horrible away from the Metrodome. The Rangers give the ball to another Tommy H. (Hunter) and he's been unhittable of late. The Twins turn to double-digit loser, Francisco Liriano. We expect Texas to continue to play solid ball (great defense, great bullpen, timely hitting) and the Twinkies to continue to baffle. Take the Rangers (-138) to win 7-3. LOCK IT UP

St. Louis @ LA - Here is a very interesting game between arguably the two best NL teams (sorry Philly). The Cardinals turn to the wildly dependable Chris Carpenter while the Dodgers trot out a knuckleballer who hasn't started a game in the bigs since 2006. Forgive us for leaning toward the Cardinals in this one. With yesterday's stunning 9th inning comeback following two separate rain delays, we think this St. Louis team has got a little destiny working for them. We don't feel the same about the Dodgers. Joe Torre has torched another bullpen just in time for the stretch run and LA will not be able to recover from that. Haeger the knucklehead will get knocked around by Fat Albert and Matt Holliday. St. Louie (-155) is victorious in MannyWood, 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Angels (-116)
Brewers (-120)
Giants (-113)
Royals (+200)
Padres (+105)
Yankees minus 1.5 runs (-125)

Mo UMLs, Mo Problems

The Locks is streaking like Will Ferrell in Old School. We're on fire. 7-2 on Saturday with a 2-1 record on Unpickable Master Locks. We subscribe to the theory that you need to get busy making money when the opportunity is in front of you. The momentum that we have makes us think that now is the time to capitalize. As such, we're expanding the UMLs section today from three games to five games. Here you go. Start you week off with a little extra dough in your pocket:

Unpickable Master Locks:

LAA @ Baltimore - These teams are not really close in terms of where they are now. That isn't too say that the O's don't have a ton of talent, they do. However, the Angels are a potential World Series team and the Orioles are a last place team. Add to that the fact that the birds are giving the ball to Jeremy Guthrie again and we love the Halos here. Guthrie has been magic for making money this year. He is that predictably bad. LAA will continue that trend. Take the Angels (-105) to win, 8-6. LOCK IT UP

Houston @ Milwaukee - In much the same way that we are betting against Jeremy Guthrie in the Angels/O's game, we are most certainly betting against Brandon Looper in this one. Looper is a perfect example of why the Brew Crew have not ever been a factor in this playoff race. They just can't pitch. Looper is a joke and the Astros have guys that hit him well (Berkman, Blum, Keppinger, Pence, etc.) Roy Oswalt gets the chance to bounce back from a poor outing in his return from the disabled list. We think he does as the Stros cling to a very faint glimmer of hope in the playoff race. Take Houston (-110) to win 7-4. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Oakland - Another battle of a solid team battling for the playoffs against an exceedingly young team that is nowhere near relevant at this point. The White Sox are making noise in the race for both the Central division and the wild card. Today they get to beat up on Trevor Cahill who has been up and down all year. His ERA stands over 5 at this point so clear he's been more down than up. Chicago counters with lefty John Danks who is 6-3, 3.86 on the road this year. We like the Sox to win this one fairly easily. Take ChiTown (-130) to win 6-3. LOCK IT UP

LA @ Arizona - Add Jonathan Broxton to the Locks' shit list after he gave away that game last night. No chance guys like Manny, Hudson, Loney and Either allow the Dodgers to get swept by the DBacks at this point in the season. Yusmeiro Petit is in trouble today. Randy Wolf will throw 6 or 7 solid innings and then Dodger fans will hold their breath as the pen closes this one out. Look for a big hit from Casey Blake in this one. Take the Dodgers (-161) to win 8-3. LOCK IT UP

San Diego @ St. Louis - Just because the Padres can't win to save their lives in St. Louis. Just because St. Louis has been a wildly successful fixture in the UMLs. Just because the Cardinals are the best team in the NL and the Padres are one of the worst. Take the Cardinals minus 1.5 runs (+130) to win convincingly, 7-2. LOCK IT UP


Remaining Games:

Tigers minus 1.5 runs (EVEN)
Giants -113
Nationals -105
Rockies - Game 1 -110
Marlins - Game 2 -112
Rays -185
Rangers -135
Indians +127
Yankees -185
Phillies +110
Pirates plus 1.5 runs (+115)

A Meeting of the Minds: Kung Fu Style

I usually don't post random items on this blog but I must share the following exchange that I just heard on the Fox game of the week (Giants @ NY Mets). I literally heard the following discussion between Thom Brennaman and Mark Grace regarding Giant 3B Pablo Sandoval. Note: this has been transcribed exactly as it was spoken on the air:

Thom Brennaman: "For those of us who have not seen that movie, he just looks like Kung Fu Panda? I mean, explain the character."

Mark Grace: "Yes"

Brennaman: "Was, was, was he obviously a big Kung Fu guy, right? A Kung Fu Panda bear who knew how to do Kung Fu, right?"

Grace: "Yeah. Martial arts, right. And ya know, he's like, like Pablo. Just a big cuddly guy - you know - who had great feet, you know. King Fu and the martial arts."

Brennaman: "Gotcha"

Grace: " Yeah"

Brennaman: "OK"

Grace: (Inaudable) "And a pretty face on him - you know - like Pablo."

Brennaman: "Well, his family will love to be hearing you say that."

Grace: "Well, he's just a lovable character. Kung Fu Panda, like Pablo."

Brennaman: "I hear you."

Lockdown: No Escape from Indestructable Winners

Today is a day for winners. If you are not a winner, then stop reading this now. OK. Now that it is just us winners, here is a little secret: the Locks has all the insight you need for today's MLB action. We'll highlight three UMLs, but don't stop there. There will be numerous winners in our Remaining Games section for you to cash in on. We hope you have the intestinal fortitude to do what you know you should: bet em all.

Unpickable Maters Locks:

LAA @ Baltimore - This game bit us in the keyster last night. That will not happen again. Not a chance. John Lackey gets things bak under control tonight as there is no chance a team as good as the Halos mails in another game on the East Coast. Brian Matusz beware. Take LAA (-155) to win, 8-4. LOCK IT UP

San Diego @ St. Louis - Newsflash: The Padres do not play well in St. Louis. They never had and they will not begin doing so anytime soon. That should not be surprising to anyone based on the tremendous talent disparity between these two teams. We're going to continue riding the Red Bird train. The Cards are the class of the NL and the Padres are its ass. Joel Pineiro ain't pretty but he is effective. Take St. Louie minus 1.5 runs (-120) to win easily at 8-3. LOCK IT UP

LA @ Arizona - Same story for this LA team as the other LA team. No chance, at this point in the season, a team this good loses another game against a much less talented team. Perhaps that is simplistic analysis but it is winning analysis. Take the Dodgers (-140) to win 5-3. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Marlins (-103)
Astros (+117)
Nationals (+150)
Tigers minus 1.5 runs (-120)
Rays (-175)
Rangers (-130)
Yankees (-136)

Big Wheels Keep on Turning, The Locks Keep on Burning

Another day, more money. That is the motto around here and that is what we continue to deliver in our new handicapping format. Since the overhaul, we have hit 14 of 18 Unpickable Master Locks, including another perfect (3-0) day yesterday. The remaining game picks have been working out as well, as evidenced by yesterday's 5-2 overall record. The Locks feels good and so should you because we have more winners coming at you today. So let's get to it.

Unpickable Master Locks:

LAA @ Baltimore - The Halos are rolling right now in much the same way the Locks is rolling. That offense continues to churn out runs by receiving contributions up and down the lineup. Amazing, considering they're doing all this without Torii Hunter. Unfortunately for the O's highly-touted youngster Chris Tillman, he's charged with slowing the Angels down. I'm not counting on that happening. He's going to have to work especially hard against this lineup which continues to grind out at-bats regardless of the situation. The Angels counter with Jered Weaver who has had pretty good success against the key Baltimore hitters in limited action. The Angels are far and away the superior team and will demonstrate as much on the field tonight. Take LAA (-147) to win, 7-4. LOCK IT UP

Colorado @ Florida - The Marlins start one of our favorite big league pitchers, Josh Johnson. This guy is a monster and not only as pitcher. He can rake as well. Not that the Marlins' offense needs any more help these days. Much like LAA, Florida is a team on a roll. Conversely, Colorado's Jason Hammel has not been on anything remotely resembling a roll. Plus he's faced the Fish one time this year and got abused. The Rockies have been playing well but I think Johnson and the Fish are much too tall an order tonight. In fact, take Florida minus 1.5 runs here (+125) to win 6-1. LOCK IT UP

San Diego @ St. Louis - Here we are, back on the Cardinals bandwagon. And what a wagon it is. These guys are the Locks' pick to represent the NL in the World Series. Tonight they give the ball to Adam Wainright who has established himself as one of the top starters in the NL this season. He's 13-7 with a 2.73 ERA on the year and that ERA improves to 2.18 at Busch Stadium. The Padres are severely lacking in the talent department though the Brew Crew certainly made them look pretty good over the past few days. The Cardinals ain't the Brew Crew. San Diego will have a difficult time scratching out runs in this game. They do have a very impressive young pitcher on the hill (Mat Latos - 4-1, 2.43) but tonight is not his night to notch win #5. Take the Red Birds minus 1.5 runs (-110) to win 6-2. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Cubs minus 1.5 runs (-120)
Royals (+103)
Giants (-114)
Reds (-170)
Braves (-136)
Blue Jays (+108)
Red Sox (-143)
Astros (+112)
Twins (-181)
Dodgers (-110)
White Sox (+145)
Yankees (-153)

King of the World

We're going to have to find some more Digital Underground tunes to pepper our picks with. Thanks to the Hump-Day Dance influence, we put in our best day ever yesterday, hitting 12 of the 15 games and nailing all three Unpickable Master Locks! Guess what? We're just getting started. Today we have an abbreviated slate of games (two early ones that we didn't get in early enough to pick) but that won't stop us from giving you the goods to make some dough. Cue up Mr. Kenneth Powers:

Just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a fucking cannon!

Unpickable Master Locks:

Detroit @ Boston - The Sox have definitely awoken after their beatdown in the Bronx. However, the Tigers are a team that desperately need a win in this series themselves. Terry Francona is doing Detroit a big favor today with his posted lineup which does not include Pedroia, Youkilis, JD Drew or Varitek. Not necessarily what I'd be doing when facing Justin Verlander. The Tigers, on the other hand, have a stacked lineup against Clay "Buttnut" Buchholz. I expect a hungry Tiger team to grab the W in this one. Take Detroit (-112) to win. Final score of 5-2. LOCK IT UP

Philadelphia @ Chicago - I think that Cliff Lee is enjoying the transition from facing American League lineups to facing National League lineups. His stuff has looked very good in his first two starts for Philly and I expect that to continue today. The Phillie lineup finally got some things going last night as they ass smoked the Cubs pitchers. I think these hitters are starting to feel it and that is not good news for Ryan Dempster who is just not that good of a pitcher. I wish the line was a bit more reasonable in this one but what can you do? Take the fightin' Phils (-142) to prevail 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Pittsburgh @ Colorado - This one is not lining up well for the Bucs. They stink on the road and Colorado loves to play at Coors. Jason Marquis hasn't been himself since his blister issues but we think today is the day he gets back into form. However, his performance probably won't matter too much as we expect Colorado's big bats (Tulo, Barmes, Atkins, Helton and Iannetta) to batter Patty Maholm. Give the Rocks another win as they vigorously pursue a playoff birth. Take Colorado minus 1.5 runs (-120) to win big, 9-5. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Padres (+180)
Reds (-153)
Mariners plus 1.5 runs (EVEN)
Marlins (-152)

The Hump-Day Dance, Here's Your Chance, Do the Hump

All right. Stop what you're doing cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that you're used to.

In honor of Hump Day, we're paying homage to the Digital Underground with this entry.

Yesterday continued our recent trend of good day followed by bad day followed by good day, etc. etc. We hit only 1 of our 3 UMLs and tallied a 7-9 record overall. Not terrible but certainly not the results that we aim for at the outset of a day of baseball. Regardless, I can still confidently say that I look funny but hey I'm making money.

Today's baseball action got underway early and we snuck in picks of the two earliest games (Yankees and A's to win). Now it's time to unveil the rest of the day's selections:

Unpickable Master Locks:

Texas @ Cleveland - Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town. New fool is right when talking about Tommy Hunter, a pitching fool, that is. This kid has been a revelation for the Rangers and is part of the reason they find themselves solidly in the playoff race. 4-2, 2.63 on the season with a road split of 1-0, 1.38. He gets opposed by a guy who couldn't get laid in a Burger King bathroom with a million dollars and Brad Pitt's dick. Ladies and gentlemen, Fausto Carmona. While he's pitched somewhat better since his call up from the minors, he's still pure hump. The Rangers are ready to bounce back from that embarrassing shutout last night. Hunter will pitch well and once Texas gets into Cleveland's bullpen, this one will be over. Take the Rangers (-124) to win 8-3. LOCK IT UP

Detroit @ Boston - People say "Yo Humpty, you're really funny looking" that's all right cause I get things cookin. Speaking of cooking, that is exactly what Joshua Beckett has been doing of late. His last two starts combined have gone for 14 innings, no runs, 10 hits and 12 Ks. He's brought his ERA down 1.5 runs since late May and looks to carry the Sox to the playoffs. The guy is dialed in. And hey, he might just be a bit funny looking. Also, it looks like the Tigers might have awoken the Boston beast. These guys were playing like MC Hammer on crack recently. Now, they're energized and angry. Plus, Detroit likely won't have a 100% Miggy Cabrera in the lineup tonight and are starting Armando Galarraga (2-6, 5.97 road stats). I think this one gets ugly early and the Sox coast. Take Beantown minus 1.5 runs (-115) to win 8-2. LOCK IT UP

Cincinnati @ St. Louis - Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee. And all the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee. Chris Carpenter will send a message to all the other NL starters in the top ten tonight that he needs to start being talked about as a potential Cy Young candidate. This cat is going to hump thee shit out of the Reds, just like he has done all year long (2-0, 1.13 on the season). The Reds counter with Locks favorite punching bag Homer Bailey (what a name for a pitcher). Look to Fat Albert and the rest of the gang to turn Homer's oatmeal lumpy tonight. I'm not expecting this one to be close either. St. Louis minus 1.5 runs (-150) will cruise to a 7-1 victory. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Angels (+105)
Diamondbacks (-175)
Giants (-200)
Braves minus 1.5 runs (-120)
Marlins (-185)
Phillies (-105)
Padres (+121)
Royals (+170)
Rockies minus 1.5 runs (-130)
Mariners (-137)

I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world, keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, and to the ladies, peace and humptiness forever

Sneaking In Early Games Under the Wire

We have two early contests getting under pre-11:00 a.m. on the West Coast. We're not going to put either of these in our daily Unpickable Master Locks but wanted to submit our picks anyway.

Here you go:

Yankees (-240)
A's (+116)

We'll be back shortly with all the rest of the games, including our UMLs.

Back in the Saddle

Just another day on this roller coaster that we call Absolute Locks. Today is a good day. We hit all three of our Unpickable Master Locks last evening and once again sing the praises of the new picking format. For all picks, we went 6-4 and added $16 to the BAT, pushing it back over the century mark.

We're back to a full slate of 15 games tonight so there was a lot to sift through and pick from. Below you'll find our three UMLs, as well as your weekly Two-For Tuesday selection.

Unpickable Master Locks:

Philadelphia @ Chicago - Yet another case of the curious moneyline. Vegas has the Cubs sitting here as the favorite even though Rich Harden is terrible at home, Aramis Ramirez is hurting and the NL East leading Phillies are coming to town with JA Happ on the mound (4-1, 1.72 on the road). I realize the Phils have been slumping a bit of late (3-7 in their last ten) but good teams don't stay down for long. Philly is a good team. I'm not yet certain we can say the same about the Cubs who are skidding a bit themselves (4-6 in last ten), that is especially true if Ramirez is unable to play again. This one seems like a bit of a no-brainer to me. Look to the Phils big bats to knock Harden around and Happ to pitch well. Phillies (+114) win here 6-2. LOCK IT UP

Texas @ Cleveland - Yet another surprising line with the Rangers coming in as dogs. Texas has a whole lot to be playing for the rest of the way, while the Indians don't. That shouldn't be overlooked. Kenny Powers' brother Dustin Nippert pitches tonight and he's been rolling of late (3-0, 0.95 since the All-Star break). The Indians counter with Aaron Laffey who has been stingy himself (3-0, 1.86 at home). However, he got pummeled in his one start against these Rangers. I think this is a case of a better team with more to play for vs. a lesser team just playing out the string. I expect the Rangers to put the foot on the gas over the next few weeks and try to make a race out of the wild card. That starts with a W tonight in Cleveland. Take the Rangers (+104) to win 7-5. LOCK IT UP

Washington @ Atlanta - How about this for a surprise. Not only are we going to back the streaking Nattys but we're including them in the UMLs. Some might say that is reason enough to have our heads examined at that is OK. We're a bit perplexed on this one as well. However, there is a major hunch kicking around in our gut trying to get out. First things first, these aren't your father's Nationals ever since the Milledge for Morgan trade. Nyger has come in and turned this team into a solid run scoring unit. Combined that with the hot bats of Zimmerman, Dunn, Guzman and Dukes and you have a lineup that isn't too much fun to face right now. While Tommy Hanson is good, he is young and prone to mistakes. This is suddenly an offense that can make you pay for mistakes. Secondly, Washington hands the ball to the eminently reliable John Lannan. Lannan has faced the Braves three times this year and turned in two outstanding performances. While the Bravos are just as hot as the Nats, we like Lannan a bit more than Hanson in this one. The crazy moneyline he doesn't hurt either. Look to the Nattys to extend their win streak to 9 with a victory tonight. Take Washington (+160) to win a close one, 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Two-For Tuesday:

Oakland @ Baltimore - Here are two lineups that haven't scored a ton of runs combined this year but who are certainly capable of putting up some crooked numbers quickly. It doesn't hurt when you face pitching staffs that aren't necessarily chock full of experienced winners either. We think that Camden Yards will be a bit of a race track tonight with the ponies running around the bases at will. We're picking the over which comes in at 10 runs (-125). With regard to the game itself, we look to Baltimore to bounce back from last night's drubbing and pull this one out. Take the O's (-184) to win 9-6. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Rays (-122) - TAMPA BITCHES!
Pets (+200) - Yup, the Pets will win in the desert behind Livan
Twins minus 1.5 runs (-115)
Marlins (-128)
Tigers (+108)
Yankees minus 1.5 runs (-145)
Padres (+120) - Looper is in trouble
Cardinals (-157)
Pirates (+170)
Giants (+118) - Big bounce back game
White Sox (-135) - Another big bounce back game

Maybe We Got Ahead of Ourselves

All it takes is a bumpy Sunday to remind us that handicapping ain't as easy as sharing a lousy breakfast with Borton and deciding to implement a new format. While we do like the Locks' new approach, we need to be realistic about what it means to results. We struggled through a 6-8 day yesterday which included a 1-2 record with our Unpickable Master Locks. In fact, the two Ls we took in those UMLs were not even close (thanks Matt Cain and Tampa's bullpen).

Not all was lost though, as the Yankees took down the Beantown Buttnuts for the four game sweep. Even better, they did it in a thoroughly demoralizing fashion by giving the Sox a slight glimmer of hope that was then dashed by a rabid choke-slam from the Damon/Texeira tag-team. Today it is good to be a Yankee fan. Let's hope we can say the same in late October.

Like any new day, today provides us with an opportunity to get back on track. So on the eve of us all being woefully disappointed to finally learn what the 23 smiling electrical outlet viral ad campaign from GM means, here are your winners:

Unpickable Master Locks:

Oakland @ Baltimore - I love it when I eyeball a match-up, decide I really like one of the teams a lot, and then consult the Vegas lines to see the team I like is a big dog. I really do like that. Thus was the case with the A vs O showdown. The Athletics are playing a bunch of guys who have rather limited tastes of big league action. When you do that in August of a lost season, you tend to rarely find yourself getting outhustled or outworked. The A's guys are playing for 2010 roster spots. Not only that, they're having some nice success doing so. This team is playing relatively well of late. That includes Gio Gonzalez who just put together a rather impressive three start stretch against the Yankees, Red Sox and Rangers - 3 high octane linueps. Combined that with the fact that Baltimore is starting human punching bag Jeremy Guthrie who didn't even make it out of the first inning earlier this year vs. Oakland and all signs point to OakTown. Did I mention, the A's are 3-0 against the O's this season? Take Oakland (+145) to knock around Guthrie and get the win, 7-4. LOCK IT UP

Cincinnati @ St. Louis - I'm not trying to continually pick the same team in my UMLs, I swear. It just so happens that I really like this Card team and their match-ups of late have been attractive. I must admit that I'm a bit skittish about having Kyle Loshe on the hill after what the Reds did to Matt Cain yesterday. However, I just think that St. Louis is in the zone right now. I have a hard time envisioning them losing these very winnable games at home. Johnny Cueto has pitched well against the Cards this year but those games were a while ago, before the revamped Red Birds took form. Don't look for this one to be easy but the Cards (-170) will get it done. Take St. Louis to win 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Seattle - Here is another game that I handicapped and then realized I like the underdog. These M's are back to being a scrappy bunch that is not making life easy for their opponents. The offense is suddenly potent with major contributions from Ichiro, Lopez and Gutierrez, plus the return of Beltre and the addition of Jack Wilson. While Gavin Floyd's numbers of late have been very good for ChiTown, he's never fared well against the M's. Seattle gets its second look at newly acquired Lucas French, who pitched exceptionally well in his debut. I know that Chicago is the better team here but I have a hunch about tonight. I think Floyd gets knocked around early and the M's hold on for the W. Take Seattle (+110) to win 7-6. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Yankees (-146)
Tigers (-108)
Astros (+150)
Rockies (-142)
Dbacks (-155)
Angels (+113)
Giants (-101)

The Worm Has Turned....Into a Wiener

Hot dog. We have a wiener and it is all thanks to the sage advise of Mark Kiefer Borton. The new Locks format is a hit and, more importantly, chock full of winners. Not only did we nail all three of our Unpickable Master Locks yesterday, we posted a tidy 9-4 record and added $41 to the BAT. This was the first solid day in a while and has the Locks feeling like it is back on track.

Updated stats look like this: 211-200 and a BAT of $121. For the newly initiated UMLs, we are 3-0 with a $21 BAT. We going to start keeping track of these stats in the right hand column so they can be easily found and scrutinized.

We have a full day of Sunday baseball, so we're on to the picks:

Unpickable Master Locks:

Cincinnati @ San Francisco - Matt Cain is a big time Locks favorite. Watching this guy pitch is pure enjoyment. In fact, the Locks may drag their ass into S.F. to watch this one live. The Giants seem to be really starting to believe in themselves as a playoff team and are doing the little things it takes to win consistently. With ace #1B on the hill today, we expect that to continue. The Reds lineup should not pose to much of a threat to Cain and his 6-1, 1.98 home stat line. Aaron Harang starts for the Reds and while he is not terrible, he hasn't won a game in his last 13 starts. The Giants lineup will put up at least one nice offensive inning against Harang and Cain will make it stand up. We're picking the Giants minus 1.5 runs (+115) as our first UML of the day. Final score is 6-1. LOCK IT UP

St. Louis @ Pittsburgh - The Cardinals have too many key elements in place to be losing important games against inferior teams in August. With a lineup featuring Fat Albert, Matt Holliday and Ryan Ludwick, all of who are hitting over .400 against today's starter for Pittsburgh (Zack Duke) in their career, a bench that has Professor LaRussa on it, a solid starting rotation and a closer like Ryan Franklin, the Cards are well positioned for a World Series run. The Locks can't see this team slipping up on an August Sunday in the Steel City. Pineiro will pitch well enough here and Cards bats will take Duke deep multiple times. Take St. Louie (-147) to win 5-3. LOCK IT UP

Tampa Bay @ Seattle - TAMPA BITCHES. We have two repeat selections in the UMLs from yesterday. Sometimes that is just the way it goes. Find a team that is hot playing an inferior opponent and ride them the entire series. We think that TB smells blood in the water in Beantown and is ready to pounce in the battle for the wild card. Scott Kazmir has been looking more like his solid self in recent starts and the Rays bats are coming to life. Evan Longoria is due for a monster roll here soon. Seattle throws Dr. Three Name (Ryan Rowland-Smith) at TB and this guys is as inconsistent as they come. We haven't seen anything from him to suggest that he's going to slow the Rays down today. Watch out for a late season run from TB, they have it in them. Take the Rays (-132) to win behind a strong performance from Kazmir. Final score is 7-3. TAMPA BITCHES. LOCK IT UP

REMAINING GAMES:

Phillies (-110) - Moyer kills Marlins
DBacks/Nationals over 9.5 runs (-115)
Astros (-102)
Cubbies (+102) - We love Randy Wells
Mets (-138) - The Johan moneylines are surprisingly low these days
Dodgers (+117)
Orioles plus 1.5 runs (-105)
Tigers (-123)
White Sox minus 1.5 runs (+130)
Athletics (-124)
Rangers/Angels over 9.5 runs (-105)

Locks Enhancements - The Oracle of Kasba Court Has Spoken

Just back from a sit-down at Digger's Diner (see review below) with my mentor and spiritual adviser, Sir Mark Kiefer Borton. Aside from ironing out the final details for our fledgling reality television show "Pick Your Dumpster," we discussed my growing disenchantment with handicapping major league baseball. After watching several more comfortable leads disappear last night and turn into losses, the Locks is suffering through an epic crisis of confidence. In fact, the words "give it up" were uttered this morning during the conversation's most troubling juncture. However, as any good sensei does, Dr. Borton reinvigorated me and helped avert the premature death of Absolute Locks. In fact, MKB helped sketch out an entirely new approach/format for Absolute Locks moving forward. His suggested modifications are being warmly embraced by the Locks staff and have been green-lighted for immediate implementation.

So without further ado, here is what you can expect moving forward:

We will continue to make predictions for all (or nearly all) MLB games that are played. However, we will only profile approximately three games each day with in-depth analysis. These will be the games that we feel the best about on any given day and will be dubbed "Unpickable Master Locks." This will help guide those who want to gamble on only a handful of games each day but aren't sure which ones to back. It is our expectation that this approach with significantly enhance the financial windfall for the followers of the Locks. At the same time, it will give us another category/metrics to track our success.

Before we get into the new and improved Absolute Locks, let's get a quick update on our stat line. We went 6-8 yesterday and cut $16 from the BAT. That leaves us at 202-196 with a BAT of $80. Now here are today's "Unpickable Master Locks"

UNPICKABLE MASTER LOCKS:

Tampa Bay @ Seattle - TAMPA BITCHES! The Rays let a golden opportunity disappear last night. They had a chance to make up another game on the fading Red Sox and had King Felix against the ropes early. However, they let a comfortable lead disappear against the always pesky M's and took a demoralizing 7-6 defeat. That result turns tonight's contest into the proverbial "big game" for TB. And who else would you want starting a big game other than Big Game James. While Shields isn't nearly as unhittable on the road, he still is a guy that can be turned to when times are tough. We like his track record against Seattle and feel he is due for a W. The M's counter with recently acquired Ian Snell who wasn't good enough to cut it in Pittsburgh. We don't expect greatness out of him tonight. We're taking the Rays (-142) to win this game. Final score of 6-3. TAMPA BITCHES LOCK IT UP

Texas @ LAA - The Halos got walloped last night at home which certainly sets the stage for a big bounce back game today. They get the added benefit of starting Jared Weaver who is 7-1 at home this year. They also have an advantageous matchup against a banged up Kevin Millwood who is trying for the fourth time to make a start after straining his gluteus. He's faced LAA twice this season and got mauled in the most recent outing. A number of Angels have impressive career numbers against Millwood including Vladdy Daddy (.467 with a HR). Good teams bounce back from bad outings, especially at home. There are not many better teams in baseball than the Halos at the moment. Take LAA (-170) to win 6-3. LOCK IT UP

St. Louis @ Pittsburgh - We were shocked to see Chris Carpenter reached for four runs by this inept Pitt lineup. That said, a late inning rally helped us still cover the 1.5 run line last night. We expect this one to be a bit easies for the Cardinals who we really believe have a great shot to be representing the NL in the World Series. Adam Wainright takes the hill for St. Louie and that is not good news for the Bucs. Pittsburgh turns to the surprisingly capable Charlie Morton to keep them in this game. Old Morty will do his best but my guess is that he's best won't be good enough. Look to the Cards big sticks (e.g. Fat Albert, Holliday, Yadier, Ludwick, etc.) to knock the ball around PNC park. We like the Cards minus 1.5 runs (-120) to win handily, 8-2. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:

Giants (-140)
DBacks minus 1.5 runs (-130)
White Sox (-120)
Phillies minus 1.5 runs (-115)
Brewers (-112)
Twins (+165)
A's (+185)
Cubs (+125)
Padres (-158)
Dodgers minus 1.5 runs (+115)


RESTAURANT REVIEW: DIGGER'S DINER

MKB and the Locks continue on our undying quest for a quality diner in the East Bay. We are shocked by how few offerings there are in this category and even more dismayed by how uninspiring the places that we've found have been. With this in mind, we headed to Digger's Diner in Concord this morning following an early morning dump run that separated us from an old toilet, a box that had been urinated in, chlorine remnants and thousands of laminate samples. Upon being seated, Sir Borton indicated that he would be judging Digger's solely on his patented "Sausage Link Test." The SLT, for those of you who are not in the know, is when Mark orders the sausage links and waits to see if he is served skinny, little links (Not Good) or the fat, big "Back East" links that he covets (Very Good). For MKB, this is the ultimate indication of a diner's worthiness. Adding to the mystery of Digger's prior to the results of the SLT was the inclusion on the menu of something referred to as an "over hard egg." Perhaps I'm some sort of slack-jawed country bumpkin but an over hard egg is something that I am not familiar with. Dissatisfied with the description the potentially hopped-up waitress provided for said item, the Locks went with a diner basic: Ye Ole bacon, egg (scrambled) and cheese breakfast sandwich.

The food was delivered in what seemed like a blink of an eye, piping hot and looking reasonably appetizing. However, once MKB laid eyes on his skinny, little sausage links (Not Good), he proclaimed, "Let's go." After convincing the Oracle of Kasba Court to stick around and at least eat his omelet, we dove into our food. The Locks was a bit overzealous as our sandwich radiated enough heat to melt glass. We're now nursing a thoroughly ravaged mouth roof. Once our viddles had cooled to a reasonable temperature, we proceeded to consume them ravenously. The sandwich was decent and was helped out by the inclusion of hash browns on the inside. However, it was hurt by an over lack of substance between the bread. There were some bites that were nothing but bread and a stray bit of egg. Plus, the bacon was unevenly distributed and difficult to bite through. As such, we only had about two bites that included all of the key sandwich elements. The selection gets a 6.5 out of 10 at best. We did sample some of MKB's sausage links and were reasonably satisfied as well (another 6.5). As for, Dr. Borton's omelet, it appeared poorly constructed. However, we didn't taste it so can only assume based on his response that it too was rather mediocre. All in all, Digger's Diner was a bust. We can cross it off our list of potential diner oases in the feeding desert that is the East Bay. At this point, our go-to breakfast joint remains the Bay Leaf Cafe in downtown Concord. LOCK IT UP

Friday Freakout

Geez. I don't know what it takes to get on the right side of a late-inning comeback/bullpen meltdown. It seems like we only get hurt by them and are never the beneficiary. Happened again last night with Andre Either's 3-run 9th inning homer that turned our 5-4 day that earned us money into a 4-5 day that cost us money. What can you time, we need to soldier on. We're running late today so we'll just give you the updated and stats and a list of picks. By the way, the John Smoltz Experiment officially died last night. Hard to see that one coming....

As of this morning, the Locks stands at 196-188 with a BAT of $98. First time under triple-digits in a while. Time to get it back. Here's how we'll do it:

DiamondBacks (-112)
Phillies (-144)
Twins (-110)
Cardinals minus 1.5 runs (-140)
Orioles (+180)
Astros (-125)
A's (+115)
White Sox minus 1.5 runs (-110)
Cubbies (+133)
Padres (-150)
Rangers (+115)
Dodgers (-132)
Rays (+113)
Giants minus 1.5 runs (-145)

Things Can Only Get Better

Few quick observations from the day games:

• The Marlins are just about dead to me and they will soon be dead in the playoff hunt. These guys just can't pitch (outside of Johnson and Nolasco). They blew more big leads today 6-0 and 8-3 and are now battling in an 8-8 game. They may win but they've shown that they don't have what it takes. And this is against the Nationals. UPDATE - The Fish continued to pitch like women and now are down 12-8 in the 9th. What a disastrous series against the Nationals.
  

• Cliff Lee looks like he is going to be right at home in Philly dominating the NL. What a great trade for the Phillies (for now at least).

• Detroit's offense woke up just in time to work my nuts like a speed-bag. Thanks for not doing anything in all the games I've picked you over the past 2 weeks.

• No matter how much I love the O's, I can't see to pick their games. And why is Adam Jones sitting today? Isn't he about 17 years old? He needs a day off?

• Just when you think the Angels are sputtering a bit, they come out swinging. Six quick runs against the streaking ChiSox and Gavin Floyd. Who knows how many more runs they'll need to win this one with Ervin Santana on the hill.

Before we jump into the night games, let's get up to speed on where the Locks stand. We ground out another 7-7 record last night but at least ended up on the positive side of the ledger, netting a whopping $3 for the BAT. That puts us at 192-183 (51%) with a BAT of +$106. As for the night games:

Boston @ NYY - I'm not even going to entertain the thought of picking any of the games in this series. It is just way too big a series and way too close to my heart. I'm just going to enjoy kicking back and watching it. You'll just have to deal with that. That said, the Locks can't help but interject a comment. Vegas really has the Yanks as a -220 favorite in this game? That is patently absurd. Unless Ron Guidry circa 1978 is facing off against Vaughn Eshelman circa 1996, the Yanks should never be a -220 favorite against the Sox. And we won't even mention the Red Sox being 8-0 against the Bombers so far this year.

Arizona @ Pittsburgh - I was the lucky recipient of a comeback last night as the DBacks did just enough to knock off the Pirates. We're going to stay on the desert snakes' bandwagon as Max Scherzer gets another crack at shutting down the Bucs. We went seven strong shutout innings against them on July 26 and looks to repeat that tonight. The Pirates get their first look at Kevin Hart who came over in a trade with the Cubs last week. He was very solid for Chicago so I expect a decent performance from him. This one should be tight and relatively low-scoring. DBacks are a bit bigger of a favorite then I'd like but what can you do. Take Arizona (-132) to win 4-3. LOCK IT UP

Seattle @ Kansas City - This is too easy. BRUCE CHEN ALERT! BRUCE CHEN ALERT! This is even easier because Chen was surprisingly solid his last start. That doesn't happen two times in a row for Bruce Chen. Seattle will win easily. Take the M's (-110) in a 7-4 victory. LOCK IT UP

NYM @ San Diego - Holy Toledo. This is a battle of buttnuts. I am going to do the unthinkable and support the Pets in this one. I do think there is a chance that Clayton Richard continues to benefit from his switch from the superior AL to the weaker NL but I'm seeing an interesting little glimmer in the eyes of the Pets these days. It almost feels good to support the weak and disenfranchised. Almost like charity. Support the Pets (+125) and feel proud about your good deed. Pets win 5-3. LOCK IT UP

Atlanta @ LA - I'll tell you what. These Dodgers do not look nearly as invincible as they did a month ago. In fact, I think I like Philly and St. Louie a bit more than the ladies from LA-LA Land. We have a rematch from last Saturday between Randy Wolf and Derek Lowe. I backed Wolf and the Dodgers in that one and got burned. So, I'm going to flip-flop and back the Bravos who ride a bit of momentum up the coast from San Diego. D-Lowe gets to pitch back at Dodger Stadium and Atlanta's hitters get to face Wolf again (they hit him pretty good). The Braves (+114) start this series off on the right foot. Final score is 6-4. LOCK IT UP

Thursday Quick Hitter

Here's an expedited post just to get in our predictions for today's day games. We've already missed the Twins/Indians:

Florida Marlins minus 1.5 runs (-115)
Baltimore Orioles (+110)
Philadelphia Phillies minus 1.5 runs (+125)
LA Angels of Anaheim (+130)
Texas Rangers (-117)

Back later with the night games.

Hump Day Hubris - Take Two

Back in the saddle and ready to provide you with the winners of tonight's tilts.

But first, a minor outburst: BRIAN MOEHLER IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE IS!
(That is in response to the first pitch grand slam Moehler just served up to the .230-hitting Eli Whiteside in the SF-Houston game. I guess I start today 0-1.)

On to the action:

Arizona @ Pittsburgh - I should have stayed away from this game last night but the starting pitching disparity looked so obvious. Apparently it was, just in the other direction. Petit went into that game as an absolute joke and then twirled a one-hitter. Is Pittsburgh really that bad? I sure didn't think so. In fact, I thought these young Pirates were starting to get a little thing going. Now it's time to rethink that. These pitchers (Russ Ohlendorf and Doug Davis) just faced off against each other in the desert on July 25th with Davis getting the better of the showdown. However, Ohlendorf is much better at home (7-2) and Davis is not as good on the road (2-4). Still, is that enough to expect the Bucs to pull this one out? I'm doubtful. The Pirates are 2-8 in their last ten, while the DBacks are 7-3 and riding a mini three game winning streak. Vegas has this game nearly even so I'll ride the better team with arguably the better starter. The pick is Arizona (-109) to win 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Baltimore @ Detroit - With my blossoming love of the Orioles, it hurts especially bad when I pick against them and they win. Baltimore fans must be wildly encouraged by the success their wealth of young players are having. Matusz is just the latest of what could prove to be a stable of future stars. It would be nice to have a competitive team back in Camden Yards. But onto more immediate things. Today, the Orioles face off against Edwin Jackson and Detroit Rock City. Even with an uncharacteristically short outing last start, Jackson has been remarkably consistent this season. The same can be said about Jeremy Guthrie, except he's been consistently horrible with an ERA in the mid-5.00s all season. Jackson has already dominated the O's once this year (then again Jared Washburn had done the same thing twice prior to last night). I'll disregard last night's game and instead focus on the fact that the Tigers hitters have a solid track record against Guthrie, particularly Granderson and Miggy Ordonez. I'd like to back Baltimore here but I just can't see it. Take the Tigers minus 1.5 runs (+105) to handle the O's. Final score is 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Colorado @ Philadelphia - There is something about these Colorado Rockies at the moment. They certainly have proven to be a team of runs in recent years and both the team and tonight's starter (Jorge De La Rosa) are on very nice runs. I hate to pick against the Phils but I'm playing a hunch here. JA Happ is going to hit the rookie wall at some point and slip a bit. The hot hitting Rocks might be the team to give him a little nudge into that wall and that bullpen doesn't look to be much help should he bow out early tonight. While De La Rosa hasn't had much career success against the Phils, his is a young career that is just now starting to deliver the results many expected from this kid. I'm staying on the Silver Bullet train that comes from the Rocky Mountains. Give me the Rocks (+125) to win 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Florida @ Washington - It is hard to recall a loss as tough to swallow for the Locks as last night's Washington win over the Fish. Josh Johnson was lights out for 7 innings and staked to a 4-0 lead against the woeful Nattys. Then everything fell apart. Hopefully this isn't the type of loss the submarines a young team in the latter parts of a surprising season. Things don't get any easier tonight as they face off against John Lannan. However, Florida counters with another guy whose pitched very well this year, Rick VandenHurk. The Locks really likes this kid and the Nats team is a combined 3 for 24 against him their careers. Lannan has faced Florida twice this season but both starts came very early on. He was terrible in one and solid in the other. The Marlins do fare well against lefties and they need to bounce back from last nights' loss quickly. We'll back our boy VandenHurk and select Florida (-115) to win in the nation's capital. Final score of 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Minnesota @ Cleveland - The Twinkies' offense finally dusted itself off last night and the Injins played the way most rational folks would expect. For a day, things were normal in Cleveland. And we were too scared to bet it. At least we hit the over. Tonight is a very interesting contest as Minny turns to the incredibly frustrating Francisco Liriano. You really have to wonder if this guy will ever reclaim any of the ability that he displayed before his injury. Right now, he is just pitching to stay in the rotation. This Indian team likes to face lefties so it could be another long night for Frankie. He's opposed by Aaron Laffey who pitches well at home and against the Twins (though Morneau and Mauer do hit him well). We don't expect Laffey to be stellar tonight, but we do expect him to be better than Liriano. Hopefully this game does not come down to the bullpens because then Cleveland is in trouble. We're taking the lowly Indians (-103) to beat the very beatable Liriano at the Jake. Final score of 8-6. LOCK IT UP

NYY @ Toronto - The dreaded every fifth day for the Yankees and Sergio Mitre. This guy better start keeping the Yanks in games or his days are numbered. Thus is life in the Bronx. Also at work here is the Yankees' dreaded first look at a pitcher. It is no secret these hitters don't fare too well against the unfamiliar. That said, one night after dispatching Roy Halliday, it's hard to imagine NY won't be able to push some runs across against Dr. Consonant (Marc Rzepczynski). Perhaps our rose-colored glasses have fallen back over our eyes, but this looks like another NY W heading into a big series with the BoSox. Take the Bombers (-110) to win, 6-5. LOCK IT UP

Boston @ Tampa Bay - These days, the Sox have got to be nervous when they don't win a game started by either Beckett or Lester. They just don't know what they'll ever get from the Penny, Smoltz, Buchholz pu-pu platter. Bradley Penny's spot comes up tonight in a big game for the Sox. They don't want to head into new Yankee Stadium on a two-game slide. Penny has been just OK against the Rays this year (1-1, 4.38) but hasn't faced them since early May. The Rays send David Price out to the mound and he's got to be thrilled this game is at the Trop. His road/home splits are scary. In St. Pete, he's 4-1, 2.67. The BoSox have not gotten a look at him yet this year. Both teams will be looking for the starters to go deep after the pens were worked hard in last night's extra inning affair. The Red Sox are a very good team so we're never surprised when they win. However, we just don't trust Penny at all. TAMPA BITCHES! Take the Rays (-147) - this line is way too high - to win 6-5. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Cincinnati - Richie Harden on the road. That is all we need to say here. One more thing: he's 2-0, 2.25 with 16 Ks in 12 innings against the Reds this season. Sorry Justin Lehr, you'll have to find your first win somewhere else. Take the Cubs minus 1.5 runs (-115) to win easily, 7-2. LOCK IT UP

Seattle @ Kansas City - The Locks is absolutely devastated today. We've received the worst kind of news possible. In fact, we're considering not making a pick in this game as a sort of tribute to a fallen soldier. That's right, there will be no more SIDNEY PONSON ALERTS issued by the Locks. Sir Sidney has been designated for assignment and will not make this start and any other starts for the foreseeable future. There goes one of our most foolproof strategies for making money. Alas, we must go on. The M's aren't too disappointed to see Ponson's replacement take the hill. As a team, they have crushed Kyle Davies in their careers. Seattle hands the ball to newly acquired Lucas French who has already faced the Royals once this year and beat them. While we certainly don't expect either starter to be confused with Nolan Ryan, we think it is safe to say that Seattle will take this one home. Expect runs to be plentiful as the M's minus 1.5 runs (+145) win big 9-5. LOCK IT UP




LAA @ Chicago - The Angels as a pretty healthy underdog? Really? Our analysis begins and ends right there. I know the South Siders are playing well and are a good team. However, if I can get this Angels team as a dog, I'll take it (unless Ervin Santana or Joe Saunders is pitching). I like the Halos to bounce back from last night's walk-off win by the Sox. Take LAA (+117) to win behind good Irish boy Sean O'Sullivan. Final score is 5-3. LOCK IT UP

Texas @ Oakland - Interesting. One of our favorite teams is on the verge of getting swept in OakTown. That is not good for anyone. And with that most unfortunate possibility hanging in the air, the Rangers turn to Dr. Swine Flu himself - Vicente Padilla. He's been surprisingly solid on the road this year. More importantly, the A's give the ball to....are you ready.....the world famous Chad Reineke (waiting for the applause to die down). With a different spelling, Chad could be the unfortunate offspring of either Gary or Ron Reneoke. Let's be serious for a minute. There is only one consideration in betting this game. Will the Rangers, who are fighting for a playoff spot, get swept by the A's. Methinks no. Take Texas (-126) to win 8-5. LOCK IT UP

Milwaukee @ LA - Everyone is waiting with anticipation to see what the fallout from Fielder-Gate is tonight at Chavez Ravine. My guess is the fallout is another Dodger blowout and the promiscuous Brew Crew crying all the way back to Milwaukee. There is a very good chance that Jason Schmidt is back based on his last outing. That is not good news for the rest of the NL. The Dodgers will score tonight in bunches and this one will be over by the 6th inning. Take LA minus 1.5 runs (+150) as they win 11-4. LOCK IT UP

Hump Day Hubris

Another day, another struggle. Both hurt and helped by bullpen inadequacy, we went a very mediocre 7-7 in Tuesday's action. This included our first ever split of a Two-For Tuesday pick. When the numbers were tallied, we watched as another $7 was lopped off the BAT. Updated figures look like this: 185-176 (51%) and a +$103 BAT.

Fortunately, we were not able to get a pick up in time for the Mets/Cardinals game today. We most certainly would have picked against the Pets who currently hold a 5-0 lead. Perhaps that is the sign that things are about to turn for the Locks. We'll accelerate into that turn by providing winners to today's two other day games.

San Francisco @ Houston - We stayed away from this game last night even though we were leaning toward the Giants. That is what happens when you get skittish and don't predict all the games. This game does nothing to alleviate the uncertainty we feel about these two teams. Top that off with a pitching matchup that features a guy we don't know (Joe Martinez) vs. a guy we wish we didn't know (Brian Moehler) and we're left scratching our head. In this instance, we're swayed to the home team for two reasons: (1) Joe Martinez has no track record at all. He'll more than likely get touched up by a scrappy Astros lineup; (2) Houston seems to win games when it really needs to, particularly at home. They need this one to win a pivotal series and stay in the NL Central race. I say this all despite the fact that the Giants have a few guys who hit Moehler at a better than .560 clip. Take the Astros (-133) to win 7-5. LOCK IT UP

Atlanta @ San Diego - The Braves finally broke out last night against the Padres pitching staff. That is what you would have reasonably expected for the entire series, not just one game. We'll bet that it continues today against Chad Gaudin. Plus, we're quickly becoming big fans of Tommy Hanson, especially away from Turner Field. We'll take the Bravos minus 1.5 runs (+115) to win handily, 6-3. LOCK IT UP

We'll be back with the night games later this afternoon.

OK Ramblers, Let's Get Rambling

What a demoralizing Monday night. Our efforts to get back on track were derailed once again on a night that simply didn't make a whole lot of sense. Top-tier starting pitchers shit the bed left and right. Neither Matt Cain, Dan Harren nor Clayton Kershaw pitched to any sort of level that could have been expected. Then there was the Texas Rangers' bullpen which gave away a 2-0 lead with two outs in the bottom of the 9th inning. Good thing we played a hunch and bet against a Tiger win by more than one run. Otherwise, we'd really be in the hurt locker this morning. Once the dust settled, we found ourselves 2-5 on the evening and another $32 eroded from our shrinking BAT. These are difficult times. There's just no way around that. However, we're going to keep our head down, continue to break down games and expect some normalcy to return at some point soon. We hope you stick with us.

Season to date we're still on the right side of .500 but the buffer is growing slimmer. Here are the cold hard stats: 178-169 with a BAT of +$110. We've cut our BAT in more than a half in exactly one week.

Two-For Tuesday

We've realized that our recent slide all started last Tuesday, when we absentmindedly failed to provide a Two-For Tuesday selection. We won't make that mistake again. Today's pick for the Tuesday double-dip is Locks' whipping boy, the New York Pets, hosting Fat Albert and the St. Louis Cardinals. This matchup between Johan Santana and Joel Pineiro has all the makings or an elite pitchers duel. Johan is one of the best pitchers in the game, period. Pineiro is one on the most under appreciated starters this season. His 9 wins and 2.84 ERA include a 2-0, 1.06 line against the Pets this year. Vegas is setting the bar pretty low on the O/U - 7 runs. However, we don't think there will be too many cleats touching the dish in this one. We think the under (-110) is safe here. As for the winner, we can't help but continue our smear campaign against the Fruitcakes from Flushing. We realize that Johan is pitching but these are the type of games that Fat Albert and Professor LaRussa thrive on. This will be a really fun battle (wish I was watching) but in the end, I think the Cards will prevail, 3-2. So the Two-For Tuesday wager goes like this:

Under 7 runs (-110)
Cardinals to win (-110)

LOCK IT UP

Now for the rest of Tuesday's games with one minor programming note. Moving forward, the Locks is going to be a bit more judicious in determining which games it provides picks for. Often times, there are games that we don't have a great feel for but force picks anyway. We're going to ease off the accelerator as it pertains to this strategy and instead just try to provide you the winners of those games we really like. Don't fret, we're talking about only giving you 11 or 12 picks a night as opposed to all 15. We're sure you will all be OK. In fact, you'll probably thank us as the winning percentage and BAT totals climb.

Arizona @ Pittsburgh - The Pirates are a maddening team, as all teams made up of untested no-names tend to be. World-beaters one day, the Nationals' punching bag the next. We need to recalibrate our expectations as it pertains to the Bucs. They are 15 games below .500 after all. Then there are the DBacks, another thoroughly maddening team. Zack Duke and Yusmeiro Petit just faced off against each other on July 24 in a game the Pirates won handily, 10-3. The starting pitching disparity here is so great, as it was on the 24th, that we're going with the home team. The line makes us a bit nervous (-142) but we're sticking with the Steel Town to win. Keep an eye on the over in this one too (8.5 runs). LOCK IT UP

Baltimore @ Detroit - I guess that the Orioles have been so pleased by their young hitters so far this season, that they've promoted a number of their top minor league arms as well. A night after Chris Tillman started his second career game, 2008 first round pick Brian Matusz makes his major league debut. His will not be the only debut tonight, as Jared Washburn puts on his Tiger stripes for the first time. Washburn has thoroughly dominated the O's this season (1-1, 0.56) and you just have no clue what you'll get from Matusz his first time out. As such, smart money is on Detroit Rock City, even though these guys have not been playing the best ball of late. Unfortunately, with the Tigers' propensity to play one-run games, we can't push the 1.5 run cover. That leaves us with a -210 line, the largest we've suggested taking all season. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. Take Detroit (-210) to win, 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Colorado @ Philadelphia - I hate when Jamie Moyer pitches. I always want to have a good reason to support the Phils and he just doesn't fit the bill. The Rocks counter with Jason Hammel who is looking to bounce back from a miserable start against the Pets last time out. The Phils have got to be embarrassed by their performance in SF over the weekend and eager to get back on track at home. Moyer's numbers at Citizens Bank Ballpark are frightening (6.83 ERA). The Rockies haven't one in Philly since 2007. Is it obvious that I am struggling with this one? One thing I do know is that these teams haven't played a close game yet this year so someone is going to win by at least two runs. I have to go with the Phils and hope Moyer can continue his recent rash of somewhat solid starts. Take Philadelphia minus 1.5 runs (+140) to win 8-5. LOCK IT UP

Florida @ Washington - This one looks pretty straightforward on paper. The Marlins are coming into their own and making noise in the wild card race. They trot out Josh Johnson and his 10-2, 2.87 stat line to face the lowly Nattys and J.D. from the Howard Stern Show. Actually, it's J.D. Martin and his 0-2, 7.50 stat line. The only thing that is remotely troubling is that some of the Nats batters have had moderate success against Johnson (Zimmermann, Guzman and Dunn). However, that is not enough to scare us off here. This one should not be close. Take the Fish minus 1.5 runs (-110) to roll to a 7-2 victory. LOCK IT UP

Minnesota @ Cleveland - Wow, am I torn about this game. The Indians have me so gun shy right now. Every time I pick against them they make me pay. Now I'm looking at them like they are the '27 Yankees instead of a team that just traded several of their best players. On a side note, I am shocked by how good of a player and hitter Asdrubel Cabrera has become. Early on in his career he had the look of an all-glove, no-hit guy. Now he is a legitimate offensive force. Back to the game. Both of these lineups have had ample success against the opposing pitchers. And while Scott Baker has pitched better of late for the Twinkies, he's still tough to predict. Instead of trying to sort out a winner here, I'm going to put my money behind the type of game that I think we're going to see. I expect both offenses to be comfortable and effective, generating plenty of runs. As such, the play here is the over (9 runs). You'll get that at -110. We're predicting a game in the area of 7-6. LOCK IT UP

NYY @ Toronto - I'm finding it more and more difficult to handicap Yankee games objectively. And while I do like the Bombers in this game, I'm going to stay away from it entirely. This is especially difficult to do since it is one of the few times the Yanks will be +125 dogs this season. That's what happens when you face Roy Halladay. Instead of predicting a Yankee win here, I'll just sit back and enjoy it when it happens.

Boston @ Tampa Bay - This is going to be another great game tonight, along the lines of Cardinals/Pets. We get treated to a showdown between John Lester and Matt Garza. This is a big game for both teams as they battle for the AL East, as well as the wild card. Garza has shut down the Sox this year (2-0, 1.66) and likes to pitch at the Trop. Lester on the other hand has been shelled twice by the Rays (0-2, 12.54) - though both starts were early in the season. I wouldn't expect Lester to be that bad again but I still like the Rays here as many of their regulars hit Lester hard. We're getting into do or die mode for TB as well. TAMPA BITCHES. Take the Rays (-126) to win 4-3. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Cincinnati - Tom Gorzelanny has found his way back to the major leagues. However, it is not with the Pittsburgh Pirates. Tonight, he takes the hill firmly entrenched in a pennant race as a Cubbie. The Reds counter with Johnny Cueto who has been a disaster of late. His ERA has climbed every start since July 1 and now comes in at over 4.00. That period of inadequacy includes a beating at the hand of the Cubs on July 25. Derek Lee and Alfonso Soriano absolutely own Cueto during their careers while their is not much of a track record for the Reds hitters vs. Gorzelanny. We like the way the Cubs have been playing lately but have been terrified by the recent work put in by their bullpen. Kevin Gregg is not a ML closer. Sweet Lou better figure that out soon. We'll still ride the Cubbies here and expect Lee and Soriano to carry the offensive load tonight. Back ChiTown (-107) in this one as they win 6-4. LOCK IT UP

San Francisco @ Houston - This is the exact type of game that I am going to start staying away from. Neither of these have worked out for me in any way recently. Houston, in particular, has been a team that I can't get my finger on at all. My guess would be that the Giants will bounce back from last night's loss but if they couldn't win with Matt Cain, I'm not sure you can be too confident they will with Jonathan Sanchez. Pick this one at your own peril.

Seattle @ Kansas City - Just based on talent levels, I'm not sure that the Royals should be even moneyline matches with the M's. I realize that Kaufman Stadium has not been a fun place for Seattle in recent years but that doesn't scare me enough to pick the Royals here. The M's get Adrian Beltre back tonight and that might be the kick in the pants the offensive needs. I also like what I have seen so far from Seattle starter Ryan Rowland-Smith. I'll take the M's (-110) to win here 5-3. LOCK IT UP

LAA @ Chicago - Lackey vs. Contreras. Consistency vs. Unpredictability. And while the Angels have been playing the best ball in the majors of late, the ChiSox have been no slouches themselves. This should be another entertaining game and we're a bit surprised to see LAA such a big favorite (-142). Regardless, the Angels offense is on fire and we think they'll give Lackey enough of what he needs for the W. Take the Halos (-142) to win 7-5. LOCK IT UP

Texas @ Oakland - That Rangers/A's game last night was devastating. A loss like that at this point of the season will really test a team, especially a young team. The Rangers are starting to miss Ian Kinsler in their lineup. With two lefties on the hill, the key to me here is the respective teams' records against southpaws (Texas - 22-15; Oakland - 14-23). That is a very significant disparity. Gio Gonzalez has been much better of late but still has horrendous numbers at home. We think Texas will be able to bounce back from last night's disappointment and get an important win here behind Derek Holland. Take Texas (-125) to win a battle, 6-5. LOCK IT UP

Atlanta @ San Diego - We stayed away from this game last night and we're glad we did. Tonight is a different story as we really like Javy Vazquez to dominate the Padres. I'm not going to pretend to know a thing about SD starter Tim Stauffer. His numbers in four starts are solid. I still think Chipper, McCann and/or LaRoche do some damage in this one and get the Bravos back on track. Take Hotlanta minus 1.5 runs (+105) to win 6-2. LOCK IT UP

Milwaukee @ LA - That little slut Milwaukee goes and really sticks it to me in LA-LA land last night. Roughing up Clayton Kershaw and getting a solid start from Manny Parra. Really? We didn't see that coming from this strumpet. Oh well, we think she'll be back to her sloppy self tonight as the Dodgers right last night's wrongs. Apparently, Hiroki Kuroda has corrected a mechanical flaw in his delivery and now is a pitching force. OK. We'll buy that. The Dodgers treated Yovanni Gallardo rudely already once this year. Here's to it happening twice. Ride LA (-125) into the sunset. Final score is 5-2. LOCK IT UP

Grinding, Grinding and More Grinding

We set out yesterday to start grinding out W's and increasing the BAT. You can argue that nothing represents grinding better than a day marked by an 8-7 record and a +$3 BAT. These meager results initially brought the Locks frustration. However, upon further reflection, we saw yesterday as our first steps in a steep climb up to where turkey vultures soar.

Baseball is a funny, fickle sport. With teams playing nearly every day, the ups and downs of a week, a month and a full season are sometimes hard to anticipate or comprehend. At the same time, it is critical to remember that no team is as good as it looks when playing well nor as bad as it appears when playing poorly. There have been times during this season where nearly every one of the 32 teams looked like they might not win another game. Yet near cellar dwellers such as the Indians and DBacks continue to go out and beat teams in games that defy explanation (ex. the Carl Pavano led Indians dusting the first place Tigers 11-1). At the same time, those teams from whom you come to expect consistent victories simply don't live up to expectations (Tigers, Rockies, Brewers, Braves, etc.). The lesson is that each day is a new day in major league baseball and while you can learn from the past (both distant and recent), you can't expect it to perfectly dictate the future. Now that we're through baseball gambling therapy 101, it's back to the grindhouse.

We have a short slate of games today, mostly in the NL. We missed out on the Rays/Royals afternoon affair and are kicking ourselves for doing so. And not only because we would have loved to have posted another TAMPA BITCHES belly scream.

Baltimore @ Detroit - The Tigers really kicked us in the pants this weekend by not handling the Injins in a more convincing fashion. We're growing more and more leery of Detroit Rock City's offense. Their shortcomings have been fairly apparent for quite some time now. And then there are the Orioles, a team that we wish didn't play in the AL East so that we could cheer for them more lustily. The one problem with this well crafted debasing of Detroit and ballyhooing of Baltimore is tonight's pitching matchup. Justin Verlander (4-0, 1.85 in five career starts against the O's) vs. Chris Tillman (one career ML appearance). I guess that is why Vegas has the Tigers at -275. Regardless, we still have a bit of a gut feeling here. For one, Detroit's offense has been inept recently. They simply can't knock guys in from 3rd base with less than two outs. That is not a good formula no matter who they have pitching. The fact that Tillman is a complete unknown to them, and a fairly highly rated unknown at that, should compound their problems. Verlander also has a tendency to have one or two innings during a game where things can potentially go haywire and I think the O's have the bats to make him pay. I've talked myself into trying to make some dough on the heavy dog. Let's take Baltimore plus 1.5 runs (+105) to keep this one close. We'll call it a Tigers' W at 3-2. LOCK IT UP

Washington @ Pittsburgh - I guess the league thought this series was so good they should extend it until Monday. At this point, these lineups are littered with guys who weren't around on Opening Day. We've liked the Pirates' moxie throughout this series and will continue to like it today. Plus, Charlie Morton is the better of the two starters and the Bucs have last licks. Seems like a reasonable enough assessment of this horrible game. Take Pittsburgh minus 1.5 runs (+140) to win 7-4. LOCK IT UP

Arizona @ NYM - Speaking of horrible games, the Pets have decided to surface again. If there ever was a reason for a team to be a -500 favorite, here it is. Arguably the best pitcher in baseball against arguably the worst team in baseball. And just in case you're confused, I'm not referencing Nelson Figueroa and the Diamondbacks. Yet, Vegas only has Arizona and Danny Harren sitting at -175. This seems too good to be true. There is absolutely nothing about this game that makes us think the DBacks will not cover 1.5 runs. I wouldn't be surprised if Danny Boy spins a shutout at Citi Field, quickly becoming pitchers' favorite NL ballpark. With that in mind, the DBacks won't need much in the way of offense to cover. We're taking the gamble. Arizona minus 1.5 runs (-105) to win tonight 4-0. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Cincinnati - Absolute Locks may be Randy Wells' biggest fan. We have no idea why other than the fact that he seems to always make us money. He's back on the hill tonight in a game that Lou Pinella hopes doesn't require an appearance by Kevin Gregg. We're guessing it won't. The Cubs offense has been a bit schizophrenic recently but we're looking for a breakout tonight against Aaron Harang who must have been hoping he'd get a ticket out of Cincy ahead of the trade deadline. Instead, he'll continue pitching for a thoroughly mediocre team. Another day, another big hit for Aramis Ramirez. Take the Cubs (-138) to prevail 7-3. LOCK IT UP

San Francisco @ Houston - On paper, we should be ecstatic and overly confident about this game. Matt Cain is an absolute monster and Mike Hampton is a hump. Yet, anything involving the Houston Astros these days has been turning our world upside down. There are a few Stros that have hit Cain well in their career (very small sample sizes, though). Regardless, we think the Giants made a huge statement this weekend by taking 3 of 4 from the Phils. This team believes it is a playoff team and it is getting harder and harder to argue against that point. So, we're going to pretend this game will be played on paper and do what we know we should: pick the Giants. Take SF (-133) to win Game 1 of another big series. Final score is 4-2. LOCK IT UP

Atlanta @ San Diego - We are staying away from this one. The Braves are clearly the better team but they just flew across the country following a night game in which they were blown out. Plus they have the incredibly unreliable Kenshin Kawakami on the mound. Vegas ain't sure what to do here either as they have both teams sitting at -110. This game can go any of a million different directions. We'll just watch and continuously thank ourselves for not having a dog in this fight.

Texas @ Oakland - We tried to get cute with the Athletic Supporters this weekend and they ended up doing what they always do: sucking. If they were our automobile, we'd pull over to the shoulder of the 880, remove the license plates, scratch out the VIN # and start walking. We're not even going to get roped in by the fact that Brett Anderson is starting against Kenny Powers' brother, Dustin Nippert. This is all Rangers all the time. Take Texas (+107) to win handily. Final score is 6-3. LOCK IT UP

Milwaukee @ LA - Ugh. Our cheating slut of a girlfriend (i.e. Milwaukee Brewers) is taking her show to Hollywood. Can anything good possibly come from this? We think not. Especially not with Clayton Kershaw on the mound for the Dodgers. We're going to give the whore her own space down in LA and hope she gets better once we get back home. Take the Dodgers minus 1.5 runs (-115) to leave a hand print on her backside. Final score is 6-1. LOCK IT UP

Not Good Enough

Not good enough. Nope, these recent efforts by the Locks are just not good enough. And there isn't a quote from Kenny Powers that can cover that up. All that there is to do is to keep grinding it out. Trust the analysis and keep on grinding. We stand by the belief that it will only get easier to pick these games the deeper we get into the season and the more teams that fall out of playoff contention. We went 7-8 on Saturday and lost another $12 from our BAT. Season totals stand at 168-158 and +$139.

So let's start a new roll of success today.

Detroit @ Cleveland - Not sure what is wrong with the Tigers. They should be easily handling the Indians. Now Pavano faces them after already beating them twice this year. Could I possibly pick the Indians? No way. I just can't do it. I'm sticking to my guns in this series. Take the Tigers (-125) to win this one 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Washington @ Pittsburgh - We love what we saw out of the Pirates yesterday. What got into Mr. McCutchen? Not sure the last time I saw a leadoff hitter launch 3 homers in a game. We're going to stick with the Bucs again today as the Nats offer no compelling reason to believe in them. Take the Pirates (-132) to win 7-5. LOCK IT UP

Arizona @ NYM - Hate this game. Hate these teams. Hate these pitchers. Pelfrey kills me regardless of whether I support or dog him. I think John Garland is a joke yet he has 2.67 road ERA. I just have to stick to my guns and pick against the Mets. Take the DBacks (-104) to win 5-4. LOCK IT UP

Colorado @ Cincinnati - Two more pitchers that I just despise. How can I pick these games? I guess I stay on the Coors Light Beer Train as they are a much better team and Marquis appears to be the better pitcher. Plus, Arroyo isn't on steroids anymore so he's due for a performance decline, right? Take Colorado (-140) to win 6-3. LOCK IT UP

Boston @ Baltimore - Josh Beckett sure looked tough last night. Now the O's face the much more hittable Clay Buchholz. However, they counter with the incredibly hittable Jason Berken. The Sox will score runs here. We expect the O's will too. We're no fans of Buchholz but think the smart money today will be on the Sox to cover 1.5 runs (-110). That is our play in a game that ends in 7-5 Red Sox victory. LOCK IT UP

Kansas City @ Tampa Bay - TAMPA BITCHES. Big Game James at home. We'll take that even though Brian Bannister is much underrated. The Rays minus 1.5 runs (-135) is the play here. TB prevails 6-2. LOCK IT UP

NYY @ Chicago - We're playing the odds in this game. It is hard to imagine the Yanks getting swept in a four game set. CC has never lost a head-to-head contest against Mark Buehrle. Buehrle is 1-5, 6.11 in his career against NY. We'll take the Bombers (-142) to get back on track with a 4-3 win. LOCK IT UP

LAA @ Minnesota - The wheels have completely come off in Minnesota and the Halos just continue to roll. While Glen Perkins has dominated the Angels in his career we just think the momentum is running in one very clear direction. Take LAA (-113) to win in the Dome, 4-2. LOCK IT UP

Houston @ St. Louis - Adam Wainright is clearly one of the best pitchers in baseball at this point. Combined that with our love of Fat Albert and Professor LaRussa and this one is easy. That doesn't even take into account that the Stros are starting some guy named Bud Norris. Take the Cards minus 1.5 runs (-135) to win handily, 8-2. LOCK IT UP

Milwaukee @ San Diego - That slut Milwaukee went out and cheated on me again last night. The balls on this broad are unreal. We're going to give her another chance though. Take the Brew Crew (+105) to win in SD. Final score 6-5. LOCK IT UP

Philadelphia @ San Francisco - Giants got a huge start from Lincecum last night. Shocker. Philly needs to respond today and looks to do it behind Cole Hamels. We think the Phils find much more success vs. Barry Zito and throw up some runs. Phils will cover the 1.5 runs (-110) and win 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Toronto @ Oakland - I hate this game too. Ricky Romero can deal when he is on but he plays for the Stink Jays. I can't help but go with the Athletic Supporters and My Cousin Vinny Mazzaro in this one. Take Oakland (-105) to win a yawner, 4-3. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Florida - If the Cubs think they are going to make noise in September with Kevin Gregg as their closer, they are crazy. We love Ricky Nolasco even though he wasn't sharp against the Cubs either this year. The Fish are really starting to dial up their play. Take Florida (-130) to win this one 5-2. LOCK IT UP

LA @ Atlanta - Plain and simple, we like Jurrjens more than Billingsley at this point. The Dodgers gave that game away yesterday and don't seem to be that good of a team at the moment. We like Hot-Lanta in this one. Take the Bravos minus 1.5 runs (+165) to win this one easily, 6-2. LOCK IT UP

Seattle @ Texas - No chance that we're picking against the Rangers two games in a row. Welcome to the American League Ian Snell. You are in trouble. Rangers minus 1.5 runs (+115) to roll in this game. Final score is 8-3. LOCK IT UP

Saturday Night's Alright for Winning

With only three afternoon contests scheduled today, we have several evening opportunities to make some coin. So kick back, drink some beers (Tyku if you are a trendy douche-bag with malfunctioning taste buds) and ring the register as the money rolls in. Let 'em pop, bro.

Boston @ Baltimore - For as good as Josh Beckett can be, there are a number of guys on the Orioles that hit him pretty good. Markakis, Roberts, Scott and Huff all have very solid career numbers vs. Beckett. The Orioles are rolling David Hernandez out to the mound, just six days after he held the BoSox to one run over seven innings. These Sox are trying hard to find themselves as their past several weeks have been wildly mediocre. Even so, Vegas has Boston installed as a -170 favorite. I'm going to take advantage of this line and take the Birds plus 1.5 runs (-110) to keep this contest very close. Red Sox prevail 4-3. LOCK IT UP

Detroit @ Cleveland - I'll tell you what, this Little Ricky Porcello has hit the rookie wall and hit it hard. He's pitching like the Ricky that chases the French exchange student in Better Off Dead (highly underrated movie). That said, these are the Cleveland Indians we are talking about. Detroit has already taken 7 out of 10 from this team this year. Jeremy Sowers has not found much success against Motown in his career (2-3, 6.66). We've got to think that the Tigers will rebound after last night's tough loss. We don't expect Porcello to be good, just good enough. Take Detroit (-125) to win here, 6-5. LOCK IT UP

Washington @ Pittsburgh - Boy did John Lannan and the Nats butt rape me last night. And I was so close to staying away from that game entirely. Live and learn. It is that much easier to pick against Washington (not that it was ever that hard) now that Nick Johnson plays for Florida. This Pirate team is turning some heads with their no-name offense and just good enough pitching. We've become fans and will proudly support the Bucs tonight. They can't be any worse than the Nationals. Look to Pitt (-105) to send the crowd home happy with a 5-3 win. LOCK IT UP

Arizona @ NYM - Sweet Jesus. We get Absolute Locks buttnut Hall of Famer Oliver Perez taking the mound today for the Pets. Bruce Chen and Ollie Perez on the same day. That's just nothing but clean living there. The eminently adequate Max Scherzer faces Perez and looks to keep a nice recent streak of starts alive. That shouldn't be too challenging against the likes of Angel Pagan, Alex Cora and Fernando Tatis. Look to the Pets to start looking like the Pets again. We'll take the DBacks (-150) to win 7-5. LOCK IT UP

Chicago @ Florida - Just seeing Big Z's name in the probable starters line for this game fills us with an array of mixed emotions. No pitcher in baseball elicits these type of feelings for the Locks more than Zambrano. We're going to ride the Z train in the belief that the Fish won't take a second straight game from the recently surging Cubbies. Not with Burke Badenhop throwing the ball. Aramis and the boys get their knocks in today and take this game easily. Take ChiTown minus 1.5 runs (+115) to win 7-3. LOCK IT UP

Colorado @ Cincinnati - The Rocks made us sweat one out last night but ultimately proved to be 1.5 runs better than the Reds. We think they'll win even more convincingly tonight. There is not a single batter on the Rockies that has faced Homer Bailey that isn't batting at least .333 against him; 5 of those guys are .500 or better against Homer. Colorado counters with Umbaldo Jiminez who can fire a shutout any time out. We look for a thoroughly dominating performance from Colorado all the way around. Take the Rocks minus 1.5 runs (+110) to win easily, 8-3. LOCK IT UP

LAA @ Minnesota - In a game that started out very promisingly for the Twinkies, the Halos proved once again why they are so goddamn annoying to play. We should have better known better. Yet, today, we find ourselves again leaning away from LAA. Simply put, we don't think Joe Saunders is very good. However, it is hard to imagine that the Angels would be a +134 dog in any situation these days. Combined that with the fact that Mauer and Morneau are a combined 1 for 14 against Saunders and I'm forced to go with the Halos. Take LAA (+134) to steal another game in Minnesota. Here's hoping Brian Fuentes does not have to throw any meaningful pitches in this one. Angels win 6-4. LOCK IT UP

Houston @ St. Louis - Put us in the group of people that just can't understand how the Astros play the Cardinals so tough. Didn't St. Louis dismiss the Dodgers with great disdain earlier this week. Now they are struggling to compete with the Stros? That just doesn't compute for us. And on top of everything else, now we have Absolute Locks nemesis, Magic Wandy Rodriguez taking the hill for Houston. Fortunately for St. Louie, they have Chris Carpenter throwing the ball for them. We absolutely love Carpenter. He'd be strongly considered as an option to start a World Series Game 7 if we could take anyone in baseball. That alone is enough to have us dismiss the spell that Houston has cast on us and select the Cards. Unfortunately, Vegas is thinking the same thing and has St. Louis as a -210 favorite. In order to make money here, we need to be willing to give the Stros a run and a half. That seems a bit of a stretch given Wandy's 10 wins and 2.65 ERA. We'll stretch it though. Go with the Red Birds minus 1.5 runs (+105) to prevail 5-2. LOCK IT UP

Seattle @ Texas - Oh Boy. This is like having to pick between your mother and your father. We love the Rangers. Absolutely love that team this year. However, we have a major crush on King Felix. In fact, we can't imagine under what circumstances we'd pick against him. This places us firmly on the proverbial horns of a dilemma. Vegas ain't helping us either as they have this game pretty darn close to a pick-em with the M's a slight favorite. We're simply going to have to trust King Felix and hope the M's offense can scrap together enough to get him a W. Take Seattle (-118) to W, 3-2. LOCK IT UP

Philadelphia @ San Francisco - Talk about a dilemma; this one has all of the same elements as the Seattle/Texas game. A stud pitcher we love (Lincecum) facing a juggernaut offense that we have a hard time ever picking against (Philly). This is enough to make us give up this whole handicapping racket. If we went with the stud pitcher in the last game, we should probably back the team we like in this one. It doesn't hurt that Joe Blanton has been very Lincecum-esque over the past two months. We think one or two bad pitches from Timmy-Boy make the difference in this one. We'll take the fightin' Phils (+127) to win in a great, great game. Final score is 4-2. LOCK IT UP

Toronto @ Oakland - The Jays may be the worst team in baseball right now. That is saying a whole lot with the Pirates, Nats, Pets and Indians still part of the big leagues. They'll be in the AL East cellar before too long and be absolutely kicking themselves for not dealing Halladay. I wrote all of that before even looking at the pitching matchup for today. You know what, I don't care what the pitching matchup is. Toronto stinks. Take the Athletic Supporters to claim their second straight win over the Canadians. A's (-110) win 4-2. LOCK IT UP

Milwaukee @ San Diego - Someone should really dump gasoline on my computer and light it on fire right before I try to pick a Milwaukee game. My relationship with the Brew Crew is like that of the guy who continues to date his girlfriend despite the fact that she has blown all of his friends. This is as unhealthy as it gets. But you know what? Just like the guy who watches his girl come home late again with jizz in her hair, I can't walk away. So I am sticking it out with these Brewers, even though they can't pitch or get a timely hit. All I see is how pretty they are when they decide to be nice to me every once in a while. Take Milwaukee (+105) to feign loyalty tonight with a 7-6 win. LOCK IT UP