Back for College Pig Skin

We're itching for some college football to distract us a bit from the fact that the Yankees are returning to the Bronx for a pressure filled Game 6 on Saturday evening. Good thing we have Mr. Clutch - Andrew Pettitte taking the mound. Alas, on to college football where we offer three UMLs and one wacky teaser that has winner stink all over it.

Unpickable Master Locks - CFL:

Oregon State @ USC - Line is USC -20.5 -The Locks officially jumped off the Trojan bandwagon last week when we saw how this crew of degenerates behaved in the last 10 minutes of their game at ND. Talk about a bunch of undisciplined punks. I have not felt that much embarrassment/scorn for college kids since an incident involving frozen Italian sausage and a kid named Spider back at the Cuse in the winter of '96. Needless to say, I'm not sure this team truly has what it takes to be a champion and that often shows itself in games like this where the line is very large and expectations for a blowout are high. I think USC fails the test. Plus, as my wife's grandfather is quick to point out, Oregon State is the best team in the country. Take the points, buy another .5 to push it to 21 and collect your money on Oregon State (-120). LOCK IT UP

Tennessee @ Alabama - Line is Alabama -14.5 - My initial reaction was to throw this game in a teaser because it is somewhat of a rivalry and Lane Kiffin has proven that he can coach his kids up for big games. Then I thought about what the Bama defense will probably do to the Tennessee offense and I realized that this is a straight wager. I'm doubtful this game is very close for very long. The Volunteers will play like volunteers at the local soup kitchen. I'd buy .5 points here too, just in case. Get the line to -14 and take Bama (-120). LOCK IT UP

Clemson @ Miami - Line is Miami -4.5 - This simply boils down to the fact that the Locks has consumed copious amounts of the Hurricane Kool-Aid. We love Jacory Harris and love the team speed. This is the highest level of football where one team's speed can dominate a game. It just doesn't happen in the NFL. Actually, it might happen in the UFL but I'd have to watch one of those games to find out. Is there any way to have Comcast remove the VS channel from my service? Back to the Canes. They are at home and looking to prove that they are indeed the class of the ASS, I mean ACC. This will be a fun game to watch, as long as you've bet on Miami. Buy another .5 point since we did it in the other two games. Take Miami -4 (-120). LOCK IT UP

Wacky CFL Teaser Riddled with Winner Stink:

Just trust me on this. The following 7-team, 6.5 point teaser, which pays 7-1, will come in and bestow great riches upon those whom support it. I'm envisioning a post-victory Beowolf type feast complete with jugs of mead and cooked legs of large animals. The following reflects the spreads after adjusted for the 6.5 point tease:

LSU -1
Houston -9.5
Iowa +8.5
Arizona -1
Oklahoma -1.5
Connecticut +14
Arkansas/Mississippi over 46.5

LOCK IT UP!