Saturday, August 8, 2009

Locks Enhancements - The Oracle of Kasba Court Has Spoken

Just back from a sit-down at Digger's Diner (see review below) with my mentor and spiritual adviser, Sir Mark Kiefer Borton. Aside from ironing out the final details for our fledgling reality television show "Pick Your Dumpster," we discussed my growing disenchantment with handicapping major league baseball. After watching several more comfortable leads disappear last night and turn into losses, the Locks is suffering through an epic crisis of confidence. In fact, the words "give it up" were uttered this morning during the conversation's most troubling juncture. However, as any good sensei does, Dr. Borton reinvigorated me and helped avert the premature death of Absolute Locks. In fact, MKB helped sketch out an entirely new approach/format for Absolute Locks moving forward. His suggested modifications are being warmly embraced by the Locks staff and have been green-lighted for immediate implementation.

So without further ado, here is what you can expect moving forward:

We will continue to make predictions for all (or nearly all) MLB games that are played. However, we will only profile approximately three games each day with in-depth analysis. These will be the games that we feel the best about on any given day and will be dubbed "Unpickable Master Locks." This will help guide those who want to gamble on only a handful of games each day but aren't sure which ones to back. It is our expectation that this approach with significantly enhance the financial windfall for the followers of the Locks. At the same time, it will give us another category/metrics to track our success.

Before we get into the new and improved Absolute Locks, let's get a quick update on our stat line. We went 6-8 yesterday and cut $16 from the BAT. That leaves us at 202-196 with a BAT of $80. Now here are today's "Unpickable Master Locks"

UNPICKABLE MASTER LOCKS:


Tampa Bay @ Seattle - TAMPA BITCHES! The Rays let a golden opportunity disappear last night. They had a chance to make up another game on the fading Red Sox and had King Felix against the ropes early. However, they let a comfortable lead disappear against the always pesky M's and took a demoralizing 7-6 defeat. That result turns tonight's contest into the proverbial "big game" for TB. And who else would you want starting a big game other than Big Game James. While Shields isn't nearly as unhittable on the road, he still is a guy that can be turned to when times are tough. We like his track record against Seattle and feel he is due for a W. The M's counter with recently acquired Ian Snell who wasn't good enough to cut it in Pittsburgh. We don't expect greatness out of him tonight. We're taking the Rays (-142) to win this game. Final score of 6-3. TAMPA BITCHES LOCK IT UP

Texas @ LAA - The Halos got walloped last night at home which certainly sets the stage for a big bounce back game today. They get the added benefit of starting Jared Weaver who is 7-1 at home this year. They also have an advantageous matchup against a banged up Kevin Millwood who is trying for the fourth time to make a start after straining his gluteus. He's faced LAA twice this season and got mauled in the most recent outing. A number of Angels have impressive career numbers against Millwood including Vladdy Daddy (.467 with a HR). Good teams bounce back from bad outings, especially at home. There are not many better teams in baseball than the Halos at the moment. Take LAA (-170) to win 6-3. LOCK IT UP

St. Louis @ Pittsburgh - We were shocked to see Chris Carpenter reached for four runs by this inept Pitt lineup. That said, a late inning rally helped us still cover the 1.5 run line last night. We expect this one to be a bit easies for the Cardinals who we really believe have a great shot to be representing the NL in the World Series. Adam Wainright takes the hill for St. Louie and that is not good news for the Bucs. Pittsburgh turns to the surprisingly capable Charlie Morton to keep them in this game. Old Morty will do his best but my guess is that he's best won't be good enough. Look to the Cards big sticks (e.g. Fat Albert, Holliday, Yadier, Ludwick, etc.) to knock the ball around PNC park. We like the Cards minus 1.5 runs (-120) to win handily, 8-2. LOCK IT UP

Remaining Games:


Giants (-140)
DBacks minus 1.5 runs (-130)
White Sox (-120)
Phillies minus 1.5 runs (-115)
Brewers (-112)
Twins (+165)
A's (+185)
Cubs (+125)
Padres (-158)
Dodgers minus 1.5 runs (+115)


RESTAURANT REVIEW: DIGGER'S DINER


MKB and the Locks continue on our undying quest for a quality diner in the East Bay. We are shocked by how few offerings there are in this category and even more dismayed by how uninspiring the places that we've found have been. With this in mind, we headed to Digger's Diner in Concord this morning following an early morning dump run that separated us from an old toilet, a box that had been urinated in, chlorine remnants and thousands of laminate samples. Upon being seated, Sir Borton indicated that he would be judging Digger's solely on his patented "Sausage Link Test." The SLT, for those of you who are not in the know, is when Mark orders the sausage links and waits to see if he is served skinny, little links (Not Good) or the fat, big "Back East" links that he covets (Very Good). For MKB, this is the ultimate indication of a diner's worthiness. Adding to the mystery of Digger's prior to the results of the SLT was the inclusion on the menu of something referred to as an "over hard egg." Perhaps I'm some sort of slack-jawed country bumpkin but an over hard egg is something that I am not familiar with. Dissatisfied with the description the potentially hopped-up waitress provided for said item, the Locks went with a diner basic: Ye Ole bacon, egg (scrambled) and cheese breakfast sandwich.

The food was delivered in what seemed like a blink of an eye, piping hot and looking reasonably appetizing. However, once MKB laid eyes on his skinny, little sausage links (Not Good), he proclaimed, "Let's go." After convincing the Oracle of Kasba Court to stick around and at least eat his omelet, we dove into our food. The Locks was a bit overzealous as our sandwich radiated enough heat to melt glass. We're now nursing a thoroughly ravaged mouth roof. Once our viddles had cooled to a reasonable temperature, we proceeded to consume them ravenously. The sandwich was decent and was helped out by the inclusion of hash browns on the inside. However, it was hurt by an over lack of substance between the bread. There were some bites that were nothing but bread and a stray bit of egg. Plus, the bacon was unevenly distributed and difficult to bite through. As such, we only had about two bites that included all of the key sandwich elements. The selection gets a 6.5 out of 10 at best. We did sample some of MKB's sausage links and were reasonably satisfied as well (another 6.5). As for, Dr. Borton's omelet, it appeared poorly constructed. However, we didn't taste it so can only assume based on his response that it too was rather mediocre. All in all, Digger's Diner was a bust. We can cross it off our list of potential diner oases in the feeding desert that is the East Bay. At this point, our go-to breakfast joint remains the Bay Leaf Cafe in downtown Concord. LOCK IT UP

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